


Needed

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Toppy/Dommy Kylo [14]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: BDSM, M/M, Otk spanking, Punishment, RACK - Freeform, SSC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 03:43:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9860924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux... needs this. Kylo gives it to him.





	

He fucked up. He did, and there’s no two ways around it. He fucked up _majorly_ , and now the Starkiller is gone, and now… now… now they’ve destroyed five planets in the Hosnian system, but the Resistance are still around, and he _has no real weapon_ other than his capital ships. 

Hux knows it’s his fault. He should have put more checks and balances in place. Counter-signing. Multi access codes. Better shielding. Less gaping holes.

But it’s always easier to see the flaw after the exploit, and that’s what he’s left with.

Kylo is suffering, too. They both had their heads ripped off, and their chastisement screamed down their throats. Kylo had looked like he’d pass out any moment, and he’s been… fragile? Sort of. Since. Healing, definitely. Most nights he’s in too much pain for anything, and Hux feels too awful, so they end up just cuddling, but it’s like something is missing. Some spark.

He hasn’t fallen out of love with him, it’s just… maybe it’s him? He feels something isn’t all there, like there’s a void. An awareness that things _should_ be different, and no knowledge of how to make it happen.

Maybe he’s become boring. Maybe Kylo hates him for the failure he is. Maybe they only stayed together because of the sex, and now Kylo’s too sore, and he’s too nervy, they can’t have it and who they are together is nothing without it?

Hux hopes not. In Kylo, he’d found someone who could understand, who _wanted_ to understand. And now a little thing like this - well it isn’t really little, it’s just complicated and multi-stranded failure - threatens to end it all.

He feels _awful_ , but he doesn’t know how to stop feeling awful. One minute he’ll want cuddles, the next he’ll want to brush them off. One minute he’ll be ready to beg Kylo to punch his teeth in, the next to kiss him senseless. He just doesn’t know how to feel good again, and he’s worried - so worried - that this is his fault, too.

It’s not even sex, though, is it? It’s something else, something he can’t define, but craves. A nasty voice says he can’t find it because he’s deficient, and that’s why. His unease and distress come from his own inner failings, and not from his situation. He’s looking for someone else to plug an unfillable hole in himself, shovelling sand into a bottomless pit.

Yeah.

He’s part way through internally thrashing out three speeches (I hate you; fuck me; I’m broken and dead inside) when Kylo comes home, and takes one look at him. Their eyes meet, and there’s a sudden danger that isn’t dangerous at all. It’s… _there_. That Darkness he loves in his lover, that wickedness that makes him suffer, but tells him he’s pretty, and tells him he’s loved, even as he’s aching. 

“Enough.”  


The Voice goes through him, and Hux tries to will up the strength to resist, but he can’t. He can’t, because Kylo’s In That Place, and Hux knows he will soon have only two options: comply, or be denied.

If he really won’t play ball, then Kylo will not go ahead. Simple as. No matter how much he snipes, insults, eggs and urges… Kylo will be firm and resolute, and Hux will be disappointed. He won’t be punished for refusing to comply, except by no further play until he’s in the right mind-set. 

Hux _knows_ this. He also knows he _needs_ this. The punishment the Leader doled out… it did nothing to assuage the deep, ravening guilt in his core. It’s there, always. Most of the time, he can handle it, but when it gets too loud… Kylo helps to cover his ears from the noise.

Only… Kylo hasn’t been physically fit enough to do it, and Hux has been wasting away, poisoned by his own mind, desperate for the release. He’s been… denying it was that, that _thing_ that was missing, but he knows it’s true. He’s been feeling increasingly out of control and helpless, and the only way to feel good again is to let Kylo take control. 

He needs it. He likes to think he’s self-sufficient, but… well. He _is_. He can **suffice** , but if he wants to **excel** then he needs to accept this.

“You aren’t–”  


“I wasn’t,” Kylo cuts him off, walking up to where he’s sitting. “But I am, now.”  


Bastard mind-reading boyfriends. Hux flusters, even as Kylo gets right into his space and crowds him. He feels the shadow of his form over him, and his prey-response kicks in, making him squirm. He’s right on the edge, and he can feel it. The brattishness isn’t as high as his need is, but he does have _some_ pride that stops him from–

Kylo sits down, and pats his knee. “Over here.”

“…what?”  


“Lie over my lap. You need it.”  


“I’m not a _child_.”  


“You are acting like one.”  


“That is - that’s not - I’m–”  


Kylo doesn’t need to say another word, it’s all in his face. Hux knows that he could decline this, could make a reasoned argument, or just plain say he doesn’t want it. Kylo would never force him against his wishes, or against what’s safe for him. Knowing that makes him feel better, and he can then engage with the fact he _does_ feel the need for punishment. 

Hating himself, and hating his self-destructive urges, he crawls over Kylo’s lap, and braces his hands on the cushion on the other side. He jams his eyes shut as his coat-tails are lifted, and his still-clothed ass is stroked. 

“You don’t need to do this.”  


“No, I don’t. But _you_ need me to.”  


That’s the difference, he supposes. Kylo could happily live without this, but Hux _needs_ it to feel safe. He ducks his head, hurt by the knowledge, and nods.

The first few blows sting his pride more than his hide, but the pace picks up and leaves him denting his lip in frustration. Smack, smack, smack, WHACK WHACK smack. The pain is there, but the psychological ‘damage’ is worse. It’s the shame of being bent over his knee like a naughty boy, or worse. He pushes his face into the couch, hiding the fact that his face is going redder by the blow.

He needs this. He fucked up. He _needs_ this. He needs to feel properly chastised, so he can move on. Without the punishment, the pain goes on forever.

“What was that?” Kylo asks.  


“N-nothing, Sir.”  


“Don’t lie to me.”  


His eyes close so hard he can hear his teeth. There’s no more whacks, and he holds out for as long as he can. “H-h-h _hhharder_ , please.”

“You will count to twenty. You will take every blow, no matter how it hurts. You will take them, and no more. That will be the end of this, do you understand?”  


Hux nods, shaking in anticipation. 

“Say it.”  


“I… understand, Sir.”  


“When it’s over, you will know you have been punished, and then forgiven. You will have done enough. Do you understand?”  


How can twenty blows be… he looks up, sniffly, and sees the infinite compassion on Kylo’s face. He can’t beat himself up forever, not if he wants to be _useful_. Twenty. Twenty blows.

“I understand, Sir. Please… hard?”  


“Count for me.”  


He does deliver hard. Hux is howling out the numbers by the end, his brow wet, his body wracked. He aches all over, the thrumming burn of it spreading through his whole ass. The endorphins are kicking in, and he’s starting to get all floaty and blissed, and when he’s pushed to lie down properly, not crouch, he does so. Fingers comb his hair, slide down his spine, and the comforting gesture reminds him that this is a kindness, a mercy. A controlled explosion, to keep him safe.

Kylo loves him so damn much to do this for him. Loves him so, so damn much. He feels the coat-tails lowered over his ass, and he cuddles into him, seeking as much reassurance as he can get. 

“You’re okay, now. I have you,” Kylo whispers, his hand on the back of Hux’s neck. No threat, just reassurance. “You can let go, now.”  


The pain isn’t pain any more, and Hux feels that last tether give, and he’s free.


End file.
